


Pocky Sticks

by yampotato



Series: Too Late [1]
Category: Homestruck, Homestuck, Stardew Valley (Video Game)
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Angst, Depression, Drugs, Fluff and Smut, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Multi, Romance, Shane is Bad at Feelings (Stardew Valley), Slow Burn, hungrihanni, sweaty
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-25
Updated: 2021-01-25
Packaged: 2021-03-18 01:34:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,027
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28984221
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yampotato/pseuds/yampotato
Summary: Shane is a depressed messed up alcoholic man who wants to fall for Lou(Karkat) a charismatic young boy who sees the positive sides of reality. Will Shane's intrusive thoughts allow him to get the life he desires? Stay tuned!! :)
Relationships: Shane/Male Player (Stardew Valley), shane(stardew valley)/Karkat
Series: Too Late [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2126070
Comments: 1
Kudos: 7





	Pocky Sticks

Closing the blackout curtains in his room at 3pm to finally get some sleep Shane wondered to himself if it was even worth it, getting sleep. All he wanted to do was stay unconscious forever, and that's why he liked sleeping better than being awake. But sleeping was good for you and he did not want to help himself continue living. Not changing out of the clothes he had been wearing that whole week Shane crawled back into bed. He couldn't remember the last time he had showered. Nothing seemed worth it anymore. Nobody cared how he looked so why should he take care of himself. Nobody cared for him. He just wanted somebody to wonder or worry about him. But that made him feel selfish so it just made him loathe himself even more. Reaching over to his can of beer he tipped the small remainder into his mouth and tossed the can across the room. He didn't see where it landed but he could hear it hitting the other cans he had been collecting. Drinking helped the days go by faster, helped him sleep, and made his brain fuzzy so he didn't have to think. Drinking didn't give him a release of dopamine though. He considered smoking weed or getting high. He just wanted to feel something other than despair.  
Dreaming was the only thing that brought him any joy anymore. Because dreaming wasn't real. Nothing mattered. You could pretend to be happy and that's how it would be in the dreams. Nobody would judge you for wanting to be happy. It was all so temporary and bright. He hated waking up. Leaving the only thing that was colorful in his life. But the phone ringing wouldn't stop. Slumping out of his bed he begrudgingly answered the phone.  
“Hey” he said weakly  
“SHANE YOU HAVE A SHIFT RIGHT NOW WHERE ARE YOU!?!”  
It was his manager at the JoJa mart.  
“I don't work on Sundays”  
“SHANE ITS FUCKING WEDNESDAY”  
Oh shit, had he really lost track of the days that badly?  
“I'm leaving right now.”  
“You better and you're going to pick up an extra shift tomorrow to make up for being late or else i'm cutting your pay.”  
The manager hung up and Shane walked over to grab his uniform. He hadn't washed it since working the week before but he didn't really care enough to take the time right now. Looking in the mirror he decided to skip shaving and just grab his keys and head to work.  
Pulling into the Joja parking lot in his old sedan with a clicking noise he should probably get checked out. He parked the car and walked into his job.  
“Shane you lazy kid, you're finally here! Come on I need you to stock the shelves. Kid you look horrible try cleaning yourself up a bit better next time.”  
Allowing the manager to shove him toward the back he trudged into the supply room and grabbed a cart of international goods to restock.  
Looking at the food reminded his stomach that it was empty. When was the last time he fed himself. Well since he thought today was Sunday he could say Friday lunch he had grabbed some fish with Gus. Scanning over the food he saw one of his favorite snacks, Pocky Sticks. He could pay for them later. Opening a pack and sticking a stick in his mouth he headed towards the international food section.  
Letting the snack hang out of his mouth as he reached up to put some packages on the top shelf. Well he didn't really have to reach as he was gifted with long thin limbs.  
“Mister?” a musical voice surprised him coming from his side.  
Whipping around and lowering himself he was standing above a black haired boy.  
Looking farther down he saw the grey skin and beautiful yellow eyes that glowed in anticipation.  
Shane stepped back as he was far too close to this man than he should've been.  
Muttering an apology he looked down at his feet.  
“I was just wondering if I could grab something off your cart?” the melodic voice pondered out again.  
Something about that voice made Shane feel safe.  
“Yeah go ahead I can grab it for you if you want”  
The grey skinned man reached across Shane and the cart and grabbed a box of pocky.  
Looking mischievously up at Shane the man took a small bite of the pocky stick that was dangling out of Shane's mouth.  
“Thanks Shane” he said as he twirled around gracefully and walked down the aisle.  
“W-w-Wait How'd you know my name?”  
“It's on your name tag idiot”  
The yellow eyed boy sauntered and disappeared around the corner of the isle.  
Shane watched him until he couldn't see him anymore. Suddenly feeling alone without the company of this kid he returned to restocking the shelves.  
“Who was this mysterious flirtatious boy?” He couldn't stop thinking about him. His voice, his eyes, his pale grey skin. Shane just wanted to know more about this boy. Surprisingly to himself, he was interested in the future. He wanted to meet this boy again.

Lou couldn't believe he had made a move on Shane. His face was flushed red once he had turned the corner. Putting the pocky down and rushing out of the store back into his car to avoid any excess contact with Shane he sat embarrassed in his car. He replayed the scene over and over in his head, trying to dissect Shane's responses to his actions. Shane had backed away first but didn't flinch when he had gotten closer to him and stole a bite of his pocky. He hadn't even gotten mad. And Lou was a stranger to him. Lou knew Shane though. Lou had been head over heels for Shane for as long as he knew Shane. Ever since he set his eyes on Shane he felt fire sparks under his skin and fluttering in his stomach. But as Lou walked around the town and met the others he realized that Shane didn't hang out with everyone. At least not during the day. Late at night when Lou is going home he passes Shane walking into the bar to grab more drinks. Lou had to figure out where Shane worked to meet him in a more professional setting. He definitely did not want to first approach Shane when he was five drinks into the night and tears were streaming down his face. If he was honest with himself he would actually love to approach Shane and draw him into his arms and wipe his tears away and give him a reason to wake up the next morning.  
Lou assumed that giving himself a bit better of a first impression would boost Shane's self esteem.  
Lou knew that after this encounter Shane would hopefully be looking for him. He may be embarrassed but he knows his worth. Lou is handsomely beautiful and he has caught the eyes of many people in the past. He's witty and smart and knows he can intimidate people.

When Shane got home he looked into the mirror and saw hope in his eyes. Damn, that had been a long time since he looked like that. Shaving and showering so that his appearance matched his mindset he set out to search for this boy.  
Shane went down to the Saloon to ask his friend Gus if he knew about the kid.  
Gus was Shane’s only friend, because he pushed away everyone else who tried to get close to him.  
Upon entering Stardrop Saloon Shane realized that it was quite early in the evening, as the only other person in the Saloon was Gus. But this had never stopped Shane from starting his night of drinking, or morning.  
“Hey Gus,” he said rather dejectedly.  
“Afternoon Shane.”  
Gus never talked much, that’s why Shane liked him, unlike all the other busybodies of the village who liked to pitter on about nothingness.  
“I actually have a question for you today,” Shane captured Gus’s attention.  
“Shane, it’s a bit too early for me to figure out an answer as to why life sucks so much, at least get a few drinks down first. Or have you already been drinking?”  
“What? No! That’s- “ Shane stuttered, “Sorry I never really remember those questions when I ask them.”  
“Yeah, yeah, you know, you do tend to get even more depressed when you drink, but you do have a little sense of humor underneath all that sober. I’ll save your dignity and pride by not reminding you of those moments.”  
Shane groaned, trying to recall something dumb he had said to Gus, but his memory was clouded with alcohol.  
Gus handed him a slice of pizza on a plate and leaned on his elbow onto the counter, “So what’d you wanna ask?”  
Shane looked up, momentarily distracted by the gorgeous piece of pizza laying in front of his face, “Oh yeah, do you know a kid with grey skin and yellow eyes?”  
“Lou? Why are you asking about him? This is the first time I’ve ever seen you interested in someone- no let me rephrase that- someTHING other than alcohol or spicy peppers. Why are you inquiring about this kid?”  
“Um…” Shane looked away, trying to think of an excuse other than he stole his pocky sticks and now he desperately wanted to get to know this boy.  
Gus could read Shane’s facial expression and decided to change the subject and not push his questions, “You should really ask your Aunt you know, she knows a lot more people than I do. And I’m pretty sure Lou is actually working with Marnie on some kind of project at the moment.”  
Shane licked the pizza grease off his fingers, “Perfect!” He said a little bit too enthusiastically.  
“Yeah, yeah, go talk to the kid and get out of here, it’s not even two yet, don’t start drinking now.”  
Shane picked himself up out of the stool and made his way out of the Saloon. But as soon as he withdrew from the comfort of his friend and the Saloon, realization dawned on him. How could he ever go talk to this kid, he was confident and flirtatious and intelligent, and Shane was… Shane. Anxiety picking back up Shane speed walked back to Marnie’s house trying to avoid the contact of the other villagers.  
Once he was back in his room, he tried to detangle his racing thoughts. Shane was nothing, he thought that and believed it. All confidence and intrigue gone, all Shane could think about was how pathetic and worthless he was. How would he ever amount to anything that would catch the yellow eyes of the graceful kid. Spiralling into a depression low Shane could think of nothing except how he wanted to run away from himself. He hated himself for thinking like this, but he couldn’t do anything about it. He just wanted his mind to shut up, to stop. To stop yelling and screaming and tormenting himself. He cried because he had no one to lean on, and felt so alone. But he would rather be lonely than plague someone else’s life. Shane didn’t want to cloud over Lou’s shining eyes. How could he? Shane didn’t deserve love, he didn’t deserve to be wanted, to be cared for. He hated everyone for not reaching out to him, but he hated everyone for trying to reach out to him because they would never know what he was going through. They couldn’t understand the pain, they couldn’t understand why his mind made him think like this. And he was in so much pain. Not giving a shit about what time it was, he decided that he needed to dull the pain, so that it was just an ache in the back of his head. So Shane drank, and drank and drank and drank. The alcohol subdued the thoughts, but he could still feel the ebbing self loathing and hatred beneath it. The tears wouldn’t stop coming, sobs racked his body as he just wanted everything to be over.

**Author's Note:**

> :) :) lol theres more where that came from


End file.
